My wife and I are in out mid 40's. I hope that counts as "older". We're very happy with our decision.
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We have the ability to live a pretty comfortable lifestyle, and I think we generally have a lot less stress than our child-having peers, and we'll be able to retire earlier. Our lives are full and fun, and I get to spend a ridiculous amount of time with my wife which is the best thing ever. Also, there are some things that you may not think about. For example, I recently had some changes at my job that created a lot of potential income stress. I was flipping out pretty hard.
If I had a kid in or nearly in college, I might have gone full meltdown. Many of the concerns that went in to our decision not to have kids were centered around our own personalities, so I'm not a "child free" advocate, or anything, but I do think that many people have kids because they are "supposed to" or because the want "someone to take care of them when they're old," which I think is a terrible reason to have kids. EarhornJones Report. I do agree with this about all the wrong reasons to have kids.
I am childless myself never wanted any. When people tell me "who will take care of you? I fear the answer to this.
I'm ambivalent about kids. But I'll never forget holding the hand of a man on his last day in hospice as he said " Oh God, I wish I'd had a child. His room was filled with cards and photos from former students, friends, and family.
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It's impossible to say if he was lucid, but the regret in his voice was heartbreaking. I say now I'd be happy with children or none; biological, adopted, or step, but until the end I won't ever know. MediocreProstitute Report. And even if he had kids, there's no guarantee they would have been there at the end. My wife and I have been married for 12 years - I am 36 and she is 40, so, yeah, likely not in the cards. It is a reality that, while tough, I am slowly learning to accept. I realized that as a guy, I always look at having kids with rose-colored glasses - ball games, working on my classic car with them, dad jokes, the fun stuff.
That's easy for me as it's not my body and sacrifice. My wife is not on board and it's her body and I love and respect her to much to force her hand. I look forward to spoiling my nieces and nephews and spending more time with my wife and continuing to make our world about us, forever. Intersectaquirer Report. This is bad for your relationship.
One person definitely not wanting kids and the other does, but goes along with the decision. In the end, he will resent her for taking away his chance to have children away and it WILL come up in an unrelated fight.
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Until I was in my mids I always thought I wanted kids. Then I stayed with a couple I knew who had toddlers. They were nice kids, but I remember one Saturday morning they poked me awake for cereal. It was an epiphany.
I remember thinking "I will never want this. Not too long ago I was at a family function with an 8 year old. He's not a bad kid, but Christ it was just Everything was just really loud. XBox, talking all the time, interrupting with questions. Mind you, I'm not complaining about the childrens behavior.
They were better than average, from what I can tell. I'm just celebrating my decision not to get involved.
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I am soooo happy I did not subject myself to that. TophatDevilsSon Report. Those kettle whistle shrieks they do I wanted them but never met the right person. I'm REALLY glad I didnt have any of my previous partners- they would either have made terrible mothers or we just did not make for a healthy couple. I have the perfect partner now, and she did fall pregnant, but we lost the baby to Dandy Walker syndrome.
Getting a bit too old to try again now. I am very upset that I will not have children, but I don't regret not having children with anyone but my current partner. I always thought that if one day I'd feel that way, realising I wanted kids but by then being "too old" I'd just adopt a slightly older kid. That way a kid with very slim chances of a family would get one, and I'd get to be a mom still.
A good deed and a blessing all in one. By now I know that this won't happen, I simply don't want kids. But I don't think those who want them shouldn't have one just because they waited too long or had issues getting a biological one.
DNA would not mean anything for me. Apart from my parents I don't keep any contact with any of my family members because they are not worth one moment of my life. So much for blood and all that I go through phases where I regret not having a kid, I still have plenty of time: My wife and I are 36, but we made the decision to be childless a decade ago, maybe more. I understand the appeal of having children and feel it on some primal level, but logically the pros vs. This is exactly my thoughts on it. There is definitely this inherent feeling when I see my friends with children or see the students in my classroom, but at the end of the day the cons are far too much.
If I ever decided to have a child, I would gladly foster kids who need a home. Me not so much. But I see the unbelievable love that my friends have for their children and that is something I will never know. But it is also true that we also are very much alone without family.
Our siblings all live far away and parents are gone. We have lived a self absorbed life is my guess. I go back and forth. My SO has some significant mental health issues and I know that I would be alone doing much of the emotional labor of raising a child, and I know I'm not really capable of doing it alone. Sometimes I worry very much about what I will do when I am old. I'm an introvert and dont have many friends and am not overly likable, so I assume I will be alone.
I just hope that there are some kind robots to take care of me, and that I'll die before the robots turn on us. Doctorjimmy Report. I love our decision not to have kids.
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For my spouse, I can only say that they have physical and psychological issues that they've mentioned that they'd rather not pass on to a child. For myself, I've always said that while I'm occasionally afraid that someday I might regret not having children, that's not the same as wanting children, and that's an important difference to me. I have my own reasons to believe I'd probably not be a good parent.
Yeah, we both get concerned sometimes whether anyone will be arsed to care about the sole survivor once the other's gone or incapacitated. But this thought is the result of our decisions, not a basis for changing our minds about having kids, which we will not. Oenonaut Report. Not older, I'm 34 and my wife is We do whatever we want whenever we want, and our focus and attention is on one-another.